Do you ever feel like, whatever you do, no matter how big or small, is not going to matter in the end, and one day all your things will be forgotten? If you have, congrats, you are not alone. We all feel like one day everything we do is going to be forgotten, so why do we need to do them in the first place, there is no value to our deeds in the long run so why bother doing anything worth remembering anyway.
The feeling that you are just a cog in this giant machine called the world, where your opinion/task/life is as irrelevant as it could be.
He is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived.
― Franz Kafka
We are so stuck in our world, that we either completely miss the small things or just take them for granted. The main one is the fact that you matter, the things you do does have an impact on the world (for the better or for worse). We look at others’ deeds and think that they are making a change in the world while we are just sitting here having nihilistic thoughts, but whatever point of life you are at, there is always someone looking at you and feeling the same, and even if not, who cares.
One more issue is that we are scared of the fact one day we will be forgotten forever, and it dreads me as well, the fact that one day someone will think of me for one last time, and after that, all proof and meaning of my life and existence will be erased forever. But that is the truth, nothing can be done about that, the best I can do now is make this life better, by living it in a way I am happy to end it, to look back one day and feel the ability to look Kafkaesque in the face and say “Fuck you” to it.
We tend to think that we are not improving others’ life, or just contributing to society. But usually, that is mainly because of our own underestimation. If we carefully look at our life, we are sure to find, that at least one person’s life which is better because of our existence. At least one person is glad that you came into their life, it doesn’t matter if that is a person who you accidentally smiled at, or someone with who you have spent the last 10 years with, the fact that someone is glad about your existence more than yourself, is what gives your life meaning.
It might be true that you are just a small cog in this large bureaucratic machine, but as long as you are spinning, you are just as valuable, yeah, maybe there are bigger cogs, but why should that matter. Always remember, a small spinning cog is far better than a rusted one!
